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Birth Story

Posted on January 23rd, 2013 by | 0 views

Our family officially grew a very tiny bit Friday …….

Dear Charlotte Elise,

Welcome little lady.  We are so happy to meet you.  We are humbled and honored to be your parents. My name is Kate, but you can call me Mommy.  While we are on the subject, I would like to request that you say ‘Mommy’ first.  Your sister and brother both decided to say ‘Daddy’ before ‘Mommy’ and it would really be special if you could break the mold.  Your sister’s first word was actually a very clear and distinct ‘Hello’ at 4 months followed by ‘fish’ and ‘Dada’ at five months, your brother had mastered ‘Paca’ (bye bye in Russian) when we first met him – I would love for you to start with ‘Mommy’ if it is all the same to you.  You might want to know, I have always wanted to adopt.  While my body can make babies on its own, we chose adoption.  Please know you were chosen and prayed for; for years before birth.

Your Daddy is Harry.  He is beyond excited to have a new teensie baby girl to cuddle and treasure.  He works very hard to provide for our family.  You will learn very quickly that just about every moment he is not at work he is hanging out with us.  Some things you might want to know about him, he loves God, Mommy, your sister, brother, and you.  He loves art, surfing, and teaching.  He is for the most part, the calmest person you will ever meet.  You will also learn that he is probably the funniest person you will ever meet – you are so lucky to have him for a daddy!

Your big sister, J, has prayed for you almost nightly since she was three.  She is five years old.  She can’t wait to help feed you, carry you, and show you off to everyone she knows.  She can’t wait to help you pick out your earrings on your fifth birthday, like she did on hers.  She can’t wait to introduce you to our cat Mercy Mae.  You will likely argue with her over clothes and other things when you are teens, but for now she is willing to share everything with you.  She is so thankful to have a baby sister.  You are her favorite little treasure.

Your big brother S...I should warn you, he is a tiny bit crazy.  That being said, he is the most loving and loyal little man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  He is also huge for his age, and will no doubt protect you throughout your life.  He is funny and sweet.  He is adopted too!  He came from a wee bit further away, he was born in Russia.  He has told me many times that I can let him take care of all your diapers, even the ‘stinky poops’…as enticing as it sounds to pass those off to someone else, I think I am gonna have to find something else for your big brother to help with.

We said after adopting your brother we knew we wanted to adopt more, but decided to only to adopt a child with special needs.  They are the hardest to place.  Many simply never get families, we adopt because we want to be a family to those who didn’t naturally have one.  We found a little site called Reece’s Rainbow a few months after we brought your brother home, and we have cyber stalked it ever since.

Without Oleksandra we never would have found you.  She used to be an orphan living in Eastern Europe.  We committed to adopting her in October 2010.  It’s a complicated process, we can share more with you later.  On May 4, 2011 we got a heartbreaking email letting us know that Oleksandra had been adopted by another family.  We loved her and worried about her and worked so hard to get to her for months, only to hear she was gone.  Shortly after that other doors began closing…making the idea of committing to another child in her country at this time disconcerting, to say the least.  So everything we had worked for seemed so open ended, we were broken hearted at the loss.  We had everything prepared for our little ‘Oleksandra Claire’ and now had no idea what to do or where to go.  We were hurt by the process and were hesitant to submit paper anywhere.  We wanted to take time to mourn but also worried about paperwork expiring.

About a WEEK later our path made a sharp turn towards you.  A reader of mommy’s blog, who we have never met in person emailed me saying essentially ‘I know you are looking for a special needs child and I don’t know if this is too early or if you are interested in a local adoption, but they are having a hard time matching this birth mother….’  I don’t think my heart or brain will ever be able to fully reconcile the fact that had we adopted Oleksandra we never would have been able to adopt you.  I wish with everything inside of me that I could have you both, my brain understands that is impossible, but it doesn’t stop what my heart feels.  It was a bittersweet journey to you, I don’t think we would have found you unless the timing had been just so.  We will always miss the one who brought us to you, we are thankful she is in a family as well, and she is even more special because our journey to her really was (without us knowing) our journey to you.

So what made you so hard to place? Among other things, you have a cleft lip.  When the family originally matched with you found out that information in a 4D Ultrasound they pulled out of the adoption process less than 2 weeks before your due date. That just does not make sense to me.  I’m sure the idea of needing to go through surgery with their tiny baby just was overwhelming, we are scared too…..

Your birth parents are very sweet people.  They love each other very much and would care for you if they could.  They both love art and Disneyland, and they were so happy to hear that we do too!  Someday we will tell you more, but please know you were created in love and the second they knew about you they made the best decision they could for you.  She went to the doctor and also asked for a family that could give you a good home.  Your birth mother was so brave when she had you and we will forever be humbled by the choice she made to allow us to adopt you.

Welcome to the world and welcome to our family.  You are absolutely perfect in our eyes.  We look forward to helping you achieve every dream you have.

All my love,

Mommy

 

Kate H. is the founder of San Diego Deals and Steals www.sandiegodealandsteals.com , where she blogs about the best freebies, giveaways, and deals in San Diego & beyond!

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