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Honoring Childbirth Trauma

Posted on March 7th, 2013 by | 3 views
by Layla Adonai


The power and magic of giving birth to a child is beyond words. The complexity of childbirth and all that is happening on so many levels for all involved is beyond naming, and this is what makes it so important to honor and respect the wide spectrum of experiences that get triggered during childbirth.


When the birth goes other than “planned” it can be very disturbing and traumatic, especially if there are unforeseen complications or experiences. This can be most challenging and difficult while in the midst of such a significant event filled with hormones and heightened emotions. It can be even more so if there are medical interventions adding hospital, strangers, equipment and medications to the mix. With deep respect and honor for all that happens to bring a child into this world, it is also traumatic.


Trauma in these instances can and does happen on multiple levels - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and energetic. In dealing with clearing and healing these traumas we must allow forgiveness and compassion to lead the way, while accepting both the desired plan and what really happened, to gently find a way to bridge the two. By clearing feelings of disappointment, failure, upset, rage and other thoughts and reactions we clean the slate thereby increasing our emotional availability and allowing space to feel the relief, love and gratitude that are present now.


Once being Mommy begins and daily life becomes so full, it is easy to not notice and feel these unresolved things that are lingering. Usually physical pain will get the new mothers attention, though sometimes there still isn’t time allotted to address it. I see many women with back pain 2+ years later that is related to something that happened during birth.


In addition to the easily covered emotions and deeper feelings it is common for ones energy to get “blown out” during childbirth which can create a loss of energy and an inability to “ get it together” or feel yourself whole again.


It is vitally important to take time after baby is born to BE with your experience. Make/ take time when your baby is nursing or napping to really feel yourself and take and internal inventory - ask – How am I - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and energetically?      What might I need to feel even better?    What support would feel wonderful right now that would allow me to integrate this experience and move into mothering/parenting with a more open heart?


Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Give permission for ALL feelings to arise. Especially the not nice or unpleasant ones! Giving space to feel, journal, share with your partner, a compassionate neutral friend/loved one or spiritual counselor will allow these to be seen in the light of day. This will create space for understanding, forgiveness, healing and letting go.


It is especially important to clear any unresolved things with your partner, doctor, midwife, doula or any of the other people that were present at the birth.  Get support/counseling if you need to clear and resolve these things and cannot do it with the person directly. Make time without baby to be with your partner and share your experiences with one another – include disappointments and what was most significant.


Get professional support for deeper traumas that are persistent. Feelings of depression, disappointment, failure, anger at the people or circumstances, or withdrawal. See your doctor or midwife, natural health practitioner, counselor.


Another important thing is to get good nutritional support, including herbs, homeopathics and flower essences that can help re-balance emotions and hormonal levels. Be sure to get some nurturing time for you: bath, massage, time in nature and other ways you connect with Spirit/ God, to help reset your energy.


If there is physical pain address it sooner than later. If it is disabling tell your doctor, midwife. Get bodywork to help reintegrate into your new postpartum body.


If you birthed in a hospital seek energetic support to reconnect your energy field. Being in a hospital, particularly if there was any intervention, can really affect your energy. There can be hidden reactions from having strangers coming in and out of your space as well as being connected to machines and others schedules. Examine if there are any residual feelings around your hospital experience and clear them.


In general we underestimate the levels of trauma that are experienced in birth as well as the fact that we can shift them!  There are simple effective things to do to reconnect with yourself and your body after birth. Some of the deeper impressions require work, and it’s best to clear it as soon as you can because they will linger and can last for years unresolved.  You and your family will be better for the time and energy spent clearing healing your childbirth experience.


Layla Adonai has served for over 30 yrs in the Sacred Healing Arts. Bringing her vast store of experience as a bodyworker, doula, healer, priestess, mentor and counselor she creates a safe and magical space for transformation and growth on all levels for individuals, couples, communities and the world. Layla has been called by the future children to work with parents-to-be and families, assisting them in preparing and making the way more conscious, healthy and beautiful for the children. 

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