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  • NBP Mama
  • Bruce Larsen

Who remembers that commercial from so long ago…the frazzled mom looking for solace in a warm bath to wash all her worries away.  I didn’t quite get it when I was younger. Who would until you become a working professional, parent, wife, taxi driver and every other identity that requires us to be present to others in our daily lives.

That Super-Mom cape that so many of us put on is now battered and faded, and I don’t know about you, but I am ready to pack it in a box and hide it in the attic.

As our fast-paced, super-highway lives are beginning to take a toll on our mind, body and spirit, I think many of us have gotten the wake up call that enough is enough.  It is time for us moms and dads to begin to return to their sovereign place in their family.  As person with his/her own needs, purpose and perspective outside of parenthood. 

I am going to speak as a mom to other moms, because that is who I am.  This very core issue was actually the impetus for why I founded the Natural Baby Project in San Diego and Natural Baby Pros.  As a first time mom almost 6 years ago I went through the most profound journey of losing and then finding myself again.  I forgot the importance of taking a bath by myself, of exercising by myself, of making love to my partner more than once a month, of following my dharma beyond motherhood.  It was a balancing act that left me initially confused as an avid ‘Attachment Parent,” until I found my own way in it.  It was not either attachment OR something else…it was my child AND me in a dance of relationship.

Here are a few core principles I have learned along the way in finding balance in that dance:

  1. It’s about the WE.  Choosing just to take care of my child is about the OTHER, choosing just to take care of myself is about the ME…but in finding a balance where each of our needs and desires are taken into consideration, we are both fulfilled and able to be present together more.  The health of the WHOLE individually and in relationship to one another is the key.
  2. It’s about TRUST.  Trust in your own heart’s voice. No matter what you believe your parenting style to be, trust your own instincts and surround yourself with others that you trust. If your choices in parenting are not coming from a neutral or loving place, then check to see if they are coming from fear.  Are you taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own because you are afraid you will disappoint someone? Are you afraid to ask for help because someone else might not know how to care for your child like you do?  Ask yourself if those are really valid reasons to put your own needs aside or could there be a fear to move through.
  3. It’s about RECIPROCITY.  I cannot currently perceive of a way for a parent to actually earn financial reciprocity for the hours they put it, but reciprocity can be measured in more than just finances. When we value our core needs (i.e. rest, nurturing, purpose driven activities, exercise, etc.) and we ask for the resources to have those needs met (i.e. time, support, understanding), then we feel honored and allowed to fill our own cups.  When our cups are filled, we have more to give.  It’s a win-win for everyone.

There are so many more nuggets that I have gleaned, but these few have been such a boon for me in recent years.  

Go on…come join the WE,  enTRUST a loved one to care for the kids and come fill your cup up so the RECIPROCITY can be experienced by all.